On Monday we received some disappointing news about a job Keola applied for. It was located here on Maui, and we had really been feeling like we should be back here. We were so close we could taste it. We were hoping that we'd come here on vacation and be able to house hunt and maybe even secure a rental while on vacation. We spent happy evenings on Craigslist dreaming on a little spot on Maui to call our own. Apparently that's not gonna happen...not with this job.
But that's OK. We're OK. Today I was thinking about why we're ok, and here are the strategies I employed to get over this bad news fast. Maybe they can help you through a less-than-ideal situation:
1) Let yourself feel sad. Taking time to own and acknowledge your feelings helps it pass faster. It's such a relief to just feel what needs to be felt when the feelings come. We both gave ourselves permission to feel down about it, and it wasn't long before the feeling passed.
2) Trust that whatever's best for you is what will happen. The last time we lived on Maui, we went through rejection after rejection trying to find work. At the same time, we were trying to help Keola's grandmother sell her house, and THAT whole process kept hitting snag after snag after snag. Can you guess what happened when Keola was finally hired for his current position? Grandma's house sold and we were able to find the perfect little rental cottage that fit her budget and it all happened within a couple weeks. Whenever I think about wanting things to happen in my own time, I remember how EVERYTHING worked out for the best in the end, and I'm so glad we were there to make sure all the loose ends were tied up with Grandma's living situation.
3) Remember what's good now. Before we received the "bad news," we talked about how we're actually in a really good situation no matter what happens. Keola's still got a great job that he loves. He's gaining experience that will only make it easier for him to get employed after his current position disappears in a year. We also talk about him going back to school and getting a PhD. My business is getting busy-er. If he ever lost his job, I could put a lot more time into my work and hopefully keep us afloat. Remembering all the things we've got going for us helps us to not feel hopeless.
4) Remember that good may still come of it. The guy that called with the bad news told Keola that there wasn't anything wrong with him and encouraged him to keep trying because he's definitely a good fit for this particular organization. He was even nice enough to pass his application along to another department who's hiring. This new position seems to be an even better fit given Keola's skill set and work history. We're not holding our breath on that, but we were encouraged by this man's kind words of encouragement.
6) Think about your next action steps. While we're enjoying our time with family and being on this beautiful island, we look forward to going back and getting into the groove of things. Nothing is worse than being in limbo, and now that we're not, we can get back to being fully involved in everything we've got going back home. And you know what? I'm looking forward to it.
5) If all else fails, Wendy's has a frosty with your name on it. We actually did go to Wendy's that night, but it was mostly a simple anniversary dessert (Hilo doesn't have Wendy's and night time frosties was a guilty pleasure of ours while we were living on Maui.) Still, never underestimate the power of a chocolate frosty.
So there you have it. This list isn't comprehensive, and it may not even work for you in your situation, but it's what I noticed about how we handled this particular setback. What are your tried and true methods of handling disappointment?