i hate running

There. I said it. Now I can deal with it. At the moment I have some kind of mental block against running. I've always hated distance running, and I thought by giving myself a goal I would somehow get over it. I LOOOVE sprinting. Love it. Love it. Love it. But I feel like I'm too out of shape to do it, so I don't. How I long to be that strong woman who can run for miles and miles and miles (like my sister). She's so invincible.

Ever since I gave myself the goal of running a 5K, I've shied away from working on it. I actually feel less like running now that I have this goal than I did before I gave myself this goal. This is counterproductive. Big time.

Thinking back to the last time I really worked out...that was during my last month of pregnancy (*ahem 19 months ago...) when my boss gifted me a month of pre-natal yoga classes. I actually really enjoyed that. I'm trying to pinpoint what exactly I enjoyed about it. I really liked the slowness and calm of it. I liked taking my time, working to get my body into a pose, speaking to my muscles and limbs. I enjoyed meditating. I liked having someone to teach me and correct me. I liked being with other people. I liked that I didn't have a goal or a plan. I would just show up and our instructor would craft a routine for us, and my goal was to simply enjoy and move through it.

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I started this post a couple days ago and I'm picking it up again. For the last two nights I've done P90X. I'm not following the program, I'm just popping in my DVD of choice and going as long as I can...which so far has been about 20 minutes. First I did yoga, then plyometrics. Both nights I felt like I got a great work out in vastly different ways. Interesting. I can definitely keep doing this. It's challenging and ever changing, which I like. Running is kinda boring for me. I don't have to leave the house, and I don't have to do it for long before I REALLY feel my body working. Win. Win. Win. I still would like the experience of running a 5k, but I think that as long as I'm exercising, I'm getting closer to being able to reach that goal.