the doldrums

OBVIOUSLY I've been slacking off on my blogging. To be honest, it's not that I don't have the time, and it's not that I don't have anything to blog about, because I do. It's just that when I come to Maui, I go into vacation mode and I really don't feel like doing anything. Including blogging. This visit especially takes the wind out of my sails because I literally feel like I'm in the doldrums. A doldrum is a condition in sailing where there is absolutely no wind, so you're not going anywhere. Maui always seems to be the place we go when we're waiting for the next thing to start happening. When Keola got into grad school at BYU, we came here to spend time with the family, and since that was our last (month long) pit stop before going to Provo, I felt anxious to move on to the next thing. Don't get me wrong. I love my family, and I enjoyed being with them, and I knew I would miss them like crazy (these are my in-laws now. I have awesome in-laws), but at the same time, I was eager to progress and I didn't feel like I could do that until we're in our new place, all unpacked and settled in.

Once again, I find myself in that same situation, planning, imagining, thinking, scouring Craigslist for cars, housing, furniture, etc., but not moving, not accomplishing anything. Well, I take that back. I did manage to secure a place for us to live, and make a shopping list of stuff I want from IKEA, but I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm always so focused on the future instead of what's right in front of me. It's a problem of mine that I can't just sit back and smell the roses. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, slowly climbing, climbing, climbing up to that first breathtaking drop. That climb takes SOOOOO LOOOOONG and all you can do is hold your breath and clench your fists on the way up. What's ironic is that I'll probably be whining about how I need a break as soon as we get to Oregon and start unpacking and setting up our lives.

So here's me telling myself to slow down, take a deep breath, and enjoy the final days we have here in paradise.